ORDER ONLY: Private Message to Sally-Anne, Justin, Ron, and Harry

[alt_pansy]

WHAT?

I mean, seriously.

Seriously.

A man. In our room. For years. Who just happened to be old school chums with Harry's dad and Sirius and Mr Lupin.

If Sally-Anne didn't look so white-faced, I would've thought April Fools came early. Because it's completely and utterly ridiculous.

And weird.

Comments

[alt_sally_anne]

If you think it's weird HEARING about it, imagine how it felt to be talking about that spell that turns animagi back to their human form, and I said, 'animals aren't supposed to even notice it when you cast them on it, see?' and a second later there is this NAKED MAN with really greasy hair crawling away from us in an utter panic.

[alt_pansy]

Aaaah

Oh, that's just

No.

I mean, it's just so not right, and I am SO glad I was not there.

[alt_pansy]

...and now I'm imagining our room with a big naked greasy man just sort of hanging round on our beds and honestly, I don't know whether to vom or laugh or both at once.

Ugh.

Ugh ugh ugh.

[alt_sally_anne]

Probably best to just pretend he really was a rat. And that business with the greasy man is some sort of joke. And he's gone off to live with Ron for a while because of Pyewacket, like we're telling people.

Though

Seriously, Pyewacket's a Kneazle and Kneazles are really smart and now I'm trying to think about whether he HAS ever done anything and the only thing is, he did watch Sebastian a lot more than he ever watches Milli's cat.

[alt_pansy]

True.

And they did seem to, you know, get on better than either ever did with Fergus.

Pye got a little off last year, for obvious reasons, and there have been people who spooked him, but he never seemed to be weird or anything around Sebastian. Peter. Whoever.

[alt_sally_anne]

Who hasn't Pye liked? I'm trying to think, now.

He hated Umbridge. Sensibly enough. And he loathed Letchley. Also sensible.

[alt_pansy]

And Professor Lockhart! Remember, we thought it was so odd when he'd get hissy around him.

I didn't let him anywhere near the Carrows unless I could help it, of course.

He certainly doesn't mind the Headmaster.

[alt_sally_anne]

If we told Milli (which obviously we won't) I bet she'd say that she always knew there was something fishy about my stupid rat.

[alt_pansy]

Then again, Milli's likely to think anything is fishy.

I blame Fergus's diet.

We might take a hint from her, though. Be a bit more suspicious of things. After all, we lived with an ANIMAGUS RAT MAN LITERALLY UNDER OUR NOSES FOR YEARS, Sally-Anne.

YEARS.

[alt_pansy]

I know. It's serious. I'll treat it seriously.

[alt_sally_anne]

Yeah but seriously you are seriously right.

How were we ever Sorted into Slytherin House? We are supposed to be WARY and CRAFTY and CLEVER.

But nope we had a man (A GRYFFINDOR incidentally) living IN OUR ROOM LITERALLY UNDER OUR NOSES SINCE SECOND YEAR.

It's Carrow's fault. If he hadn't escaped from Carrow I'd have felt less sorry for him and might have thought twice about making him my pet. Except probably not, because I really did want a pet.

[alt_ron]

Well. He did look really odd, like a giant hairless rat.

Tail-less, too.

Let's just say no one's going to ask to put his picture in one of those witches' nudey magazines!

So, yeah. If you take away the fact that it was bleedin terrifying when he was there all of a sudden... parts of it were fairly hilarious.

[alt_pansy]

So deeply glad I was not there.

Fervently, even.