I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

[alt_pansy]

Harry's furious. I don't think I've seen him this angry since...

Well, since the Frost Faire.

Umbridge made him write lines for the second day in a row, and I think he's planning to just keep going. Sally-Anne's been helping, of course, but it's still not easy to see him doing that to himself.

Hermione, I know... I mean, it's dangerous. But everything we've been doing lately is dangerous, and I think Harry needs us.

I think Harry needs this.

Can we talk about letting him on again?

Comments

[alt_hermione]

It's hard to say, exactly, Justin, I mean, it's all still very personal for him. He hates the Lord Protector--I mean, he really, really hates him--but it's partly because he thought of him as his father for a long time and he's realised how horrid he is, really.

But he isn't--I don't think he's thought about liberating Muggles, not really, beyond the idea that somehow the Lord Protector has to be stopped.

I'm sure he can be trusted on the lock. And I think it would be good for him.

But. What'll be really hard for him is not bringing Draco along. And I know, Pansy, that Draco's not as bad as some people think--I mean, he hates the Lord Protector too and he wants to help Harry--but, well, I think he's in much bigger danger of doing his nut if he were to learn that Justin's a secret Muggleborn or that Neville's been in contact with his parents or how we helped Terry escape or anything like that. Or at least if he did and nothing had prepared him for it.

The other thing about Draco is that he just doesn't know you all enough to trust you. But with Harry already here, that might change.

I think you should let me talk to Harry about it. I mean, be the one to tell him and tell him how to use it. I've been practising the Obliviation. I think I could do it if I had to do.

[alt_pansy]

So, are you saying that we ought to bring on Harry but leave Draco out?

Do you think Harry would join without him?

And how long do you think it would take to prepare him so that he would be ready enough?

[alt_hermione]

Yes, I think it's the best way. I know Harry shan't like it but I think Draco shall need Harry to help him put everything he'll read, I mean everything that he'll find out once he's behind the lock, into perspective, and Harry can't do that if he and Draco are both processing the same shocks at the same time. But I think I can convince Harry that it has to be that way and once he's here he'll see why.

I don't know how long. That sort of depends on them. Harry. And Draco, too.

[alt_ron]

Maybe if you talked to him about why it's important and why Malfoy's not ready yet. Maybe.

I mean, you could say pretty much what Hermione did here. But if it's you, he'll know that you've thought through the reasons. And he could talk to you about how you keep the secret.

I mean, well. Are you ready for what happens if Malfoy finds out about all of this? And how long you've been here without telling him?

Sorry. That wasn't a fair question. I know it's harder than that. More complicated. And it happened before and... yeah. Never mind.

[alt_pansy]

Right. So if I talk to Harry about how it's okay to leave my boyfriend out of it, because I've been lying to him for ages now, it'll make it okay for Harry to lie to him too. Lovely.

Hermione's security is important. I have not pushed this because I know that it can't be up to me.

But I disagree with what you're both saying about how Draco is not ready.

Private Message to Pansy

[alt_ron]

I'm sorry.

[alt_pansy]

And I'm honestly not sure if there will ever be a time when he'll meet your standards.

I wonder if I ever would have either. Before.

Remember, I wasn't invited. I found out by accident. When would've been the right time to tell me yourselves? A year later? Two? How long do you think it would've taken for me to prove myself to you?

[alt_hermione]

I don't think we can compare the two situations. You're not him, you're not motivated by the same things that cause him to act. And you were already showing signs that you disagreed, that you thought muggleborns should be treated better and so on.

Yes, you found out but you're a different person. And I'm not saying he'd betray us. I don't think he would do. But I also don't think that just plunging him into the lock is the right way for him to find out.

[alt_pansy]

And has he given any sign to you, the way he treats you, that shows that he thinks you deserve better?

I'm just saying that until we take the chance and ask him to join, it's always going to be a risk. And there's nothing he could do that would make it absolutely clear to everybody that it'd be all right.

So if we sit around and wait until we decide he's ready, or wait for him to take it upon himself to pass a test he doesn't even know he's taking, it's never going to happen. And he deserves more than that.

[alt_hermione]

Will you listen to what I am actually saying instead of what you think I am saying?

I am not saying that he needs to pass a test about whether he thinks I or any other muggleborn deserve better. I am not saying that he needs to prove that he's not going to run and tell his father everything. He shan't. I KNOW that he would not do that.

I am not talking about not telling him or not inviting him to the lock. I am talking about HOW to invite him and tell him about it.

And I really think that the WAY to tell him about it and invite him to it is to bring Harry in FIRST so that Harry can HELP us--ALL of US--to help Draco adjust to the idea of trusting ten other people WHOM HE DOES NOT KNOW with HIS secrets.

[alt_pansy]

Fine.

It is clear that you have a very specific way that you want to do things.

So you can keep on making the decisions about how exactly it would be best to tell Draco, and what exactly to tell him, and how long we'll keep him at arm's length, because you clearly know more about his capabilities than I ever could.

[alt_ron]

Um.

Yeah.

Deserves doesn't seem like the right kind of word for this. I mean. It's not like anyone has a right to know all these secret things. And...

Yeah, okay.

Shutting my gob now.

[alt_neville]

About Draco Malfoy....

I dunno, I don't know what to think. Because I just don't know him as well as the Slytherins do.

He's...he's not as actively cruel as he used to be when he was younger. (Sorry, but he was. Going on about me being too stupid to live, and a rotten flyer, and giving me grief about coming from a blood traitor family, for example. Now he just ignores me, really.)

Maybe getting to know Hermione a bit better has made him think about things. Maybe he's more open-minded about things than the Protectorate thinks he should be.

I dunno, but some of you, especially the ones in his House, would have a much better idea than me.

[alt_terry]

I don't know what to think, either. Maybe my magic could give me an idea if I were in his vicinity, because it usually will give me a feeling about whether people are trustworthy. But I haven't seen him in several years, and he could have changed a lot since then.

The thing is...I have the feeling that Sirius Black would say that people have the right to be judged for who they really are. Not for their family or their blood status. They should have the chance to do what they want to do, on their own merits.

I just don't know if Malfoy has entirely figured out who he is yet. And if he ends up going the way we hope he doesn't, then 'giving him a chance' may just mean giving him a chance to betray us all.

[alt_terry]

I think Neville's right. A bit more weight in making this decision should be given to the people who know him best. And that might include Marvolo, if he joins first.

Private Message to Pansy

[alt_ron]

I don't know, Pans.

The thing is you, you did find out, and we've turned out differently because you're here than we would have if you hadn't been. We'd have been more about protecting Terry and Hermione, and about having a safe place for the rest of us when there's trouble over our being bloodtraitors or about Sally Anne's being a halfblood. Anywiz, I think if you hadn't found out, we'd've just stayed smaller. Maybe no one else would've got added if you hadn't.

So I can't say I think Malfoy should be here yet, but I don't know it won't ever happen.

And when it does, it'll because you kept us talking about it. And maybe Harry will, too.

Only, I think Hermione may be right that it needs to be one of them at a time.

I mean, even you know that, right? Or you'd have asked about both of them to begin with, yeah?

Re: Private Message to Pansy

[alt_pansy]

The reason I didn't ask about both was because I assumed he would be in if Harry was. Because he's been supporting Harry all this time, and I thought

I don't know. I thought that it'd be easier for people to accept Draco if they thought about Harry.

But apparently it didn't quite turn out as I'd hoped.

Never mind.

I'd really rather stop talking about it for now, because I'm not feeling terribly civil.

Re: Private Message to Pansy

[alt_ron]

Yeah.

I am sorry.

[alt_hermione]

Well, what's your evidence that he is?

[alt_pansy]

What's your evidence that makes you know that he would betray his best friend? And what makes you think he'd betray me?

What's your proof that he's a lesser person than Harry when it comes to the ability to see what's right and what's wrong? What makes Harry so much better able to handle what we've been up to?

I don't see how one can be ready and the other not. If Draco is with Harry, Draco is with Harry. No matter what.

I might

Look, I know that I might lose him over this. I've known it and been afraid of it for years. And I'm willing to risk that.

Don't leave him in the dark, Hermione.

[alt_hermione]

Trustworthy and ready to hear all our secrets are not the same thing.

I don't think he'd betray us if we walked up to him and told him things on the lock. But I don't think that's any reason to slap him upside the head with it all, either.

[alt_pansy]

But when you say we have to wait until he's ready

Can you at least recognise that I have valid concerns about how long that will take? Or if it will even happen at all? If he'll ever be ready enough for you?

[alt_hermione]

It's not going to be so long that he's too old, if that's what you mean.

Again, you are assuming something other than what I'm saying. When I say he's not ready I don't mean that he's not ready to be trusted. I mean he's not ready to trust us and he's not ready to be part of this kind of insurrection. It's not personal for him yet, which means it's not something he cares about and it's not something he'll understand if he's not made ready to accept it all. That's why we need Harry in the lock and part of it before Draco comes on, too. So that Harry can help him understand it when it comes. When, not if. Same as Hydra. (Sorry, Hydra, but it's true.)

If he's fighting for anything right now, it's for Harry. Which is fine. But that's as far as it goes. So he needs to want to join because it's something Harry finds important, and then he also needs to be prepared for what he'll find, and Harry's the best person to help with that. And Harry can't do it if Harry's just learning everything himself. It takes him forever to figure things out but once he does, he can help explain to Draco in ways that Draco will find at least acceptable, if not necessarily logical.

You're right; you don't really understand him at all, do you?