(no subject)

[alt_pansy]

I had a conversation with Madame Umbridge today in regards to the Memorial Garden. You see, she had the idea to create a garden at Hogwarts that would commemorate loyal citizens who died in service of the Protectorate. My father will be honoured in the garden, and some of the other students have relatives who will be remembered there as well. Our former professors, the Carrows, will also be memorialised.

The memorial will also honour younger people who were students at Hogwarts or had only just left school when they died fighting for the Protectorate. It's sobering to think that people so close to our own age fought and died for what they believed in.

Madame Umbridge was very thoughtful to talk to me about her plans for the garden. She graciously said that I could help if I wished to, which was very kind of her.

Mal, Charles, Darius, maybe we could talk about it sometime, and sort out what we might do to contribute.

Comments

I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good: Private Message to Sally-Anne

[alt_pansy]

Pirate's going to be a part of the garden too. She told me.

I don't

I don't quite know what to think of it all. But what I do know is that I hate her.

I hate her so very much.

Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good: Private Message to Sally-Anne

[alt_sally_anne]

Me too.

Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good: Private Message to Sally-Anne

[alt_sally_anne]

Were any of the galleon posts today about house elves from you?

It's so odd. Having a way to talk secretly to people, only it's not just the people on the lock, and I don't know who's saying what.

Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good: Private Message to Sally-Anne

[alt_pansy]

No, I didn't say anything today.

I sort of like not knowing. But yeah, it is odd. I think it's good that it's not just us, though.

Private Message to Draco

[alt_pansy]

Pardon me while I scream.

Honestly.

[alt_antonin]

Having worked with and taught many of the younger of Our Lord's faithful in those years -- not as many as Savitha Council Member Desai in the later war years, of course, but it was still one of my favourite tasks -- I can tell you that our younger brethren were among the most passionate and intense proponents of Our Lord's visions, and we were lucky to have them.

To you, the thought of such might be sobering, or seem completely outside the realm of your capabilities, but I assure you, Miss Parkinson: if it were to become necessary (and may we all pray that it might not), I have full and utmost faith that you, and many of your classmates, would rise to the occasion magnificently. It is in times of great trial that we are granted the opportunity for great achievements, and it is when one is fighting for one's most deeply-cherished beliefs and ideals that one finds reserves of strength and capacity one did not expect to find in oneself.

Private Message to Pansy Parkinson

[alt_antonin]

The public comment having thus been made: allow me to commend you for your tact and grace regarding a subject that is undoubtedly a source of very complex emotions to you. My response when Madam Umbridge approached Professor Lestrange and me about her grand vision before break was certainly far less printable.

If you ever feel the need to retreat from an emotionally fraught conversation regarding the matter, please do feel free to invent an appointment with me at any time; I am always delighted to see you.

Re: Private Message to Pansy Parkinson

[alt_pansy]

Thank you, Antonin Nikolaevitch. Given the names on that list, I can hardly imagine what you've been experiencing as a result of this announcement.

I am more glad than I can possibly say that you are feeling better, and I certainly will be inventing an appointment soon.

Re: Private Message to Pansy Parkinson

[alt_antonin]

My response is much as I suspect yours must be: pleasure at the thought of honouring our fallen more widely, abject horror at the thought their sacrifice and memory might be used for political gain or for appearances only. The situation is greatly complicated by the fact I keep certain religious obligations regarding my honoured dead, far over and above the beliefs many of our company hold -- and that many of my brethren tend to view with a certain baffled amusement, it being utterly foreign to them. (Well. As I am, one supposes.) Performative mourning, that exists only to elevate the mourner in the good graces of observers, is one of the most vile sins I might imagine, just as sincerely-meant honour paid to the dead is one of the highest obligations.

I am, of course, not saying this project stems from the former rather than the latter; I would never say such a thing. I am certain Madam Umbridge's motivations are entirely and wholly correct; I am merely thinking of the potential reactions of others when they hear of the project.

If it will help you at all, in conceptualising the project or in drawing strength during times of emotional upheaval throughout the process: my mother's people, and the tradition in which I was raised, holds (in simplistic summary) that no man's souls will ever be truly lost so long as his name is remembered. I do not know what your own beliefs are, nor whether you will find my own belief to be a comfort -- but given that premise, even mourning that is done for the wrong purposes, bringing shame and dishonour upon the mourner, can serve a higher purpose, all-unknowing. I often find that belief to be a comfort.

(Your father, meanwhile, has been a part of my rememberances for years. If you would like to join me in making an offering to his memory at some point in future -- perhaps over the summer, when we are not bound by Hogwarts' restrictions -- I would be pleased to have you join me.)

Re: Private Message to Pansy Parkinson

[alt_pansy]

It would be a great honour. I would like that very much.

And what you've said about souls... it does help a great deal. Thank you.

I can see what you mean about how all this might serve a higher purpose regardless of the instrument.

Re: Private Message to Pansy Parkinson

[alt_antonin]

I am quite glad the thought is comforting; I've often found it such, over the years.

As to the rest, there is a German poet who once said something along the lines of: "the Spirit wants only that there be flying; as to happens to do it, in that there is only a passing interest." I will confess to there having been times in which I have used that as a mantra, throughout the years. There are times it does not help -- but there are times it does.

Good night, Miss Parkinson: I wish you pleasant dreams.

I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good: Private message to Pansy

[alt_sally_anne]

I know we aren't supposed to like him. That's what Sirius Black said, anyway, he's evil and he killed that bloke ('took him on a really big adventure,' was that it?) and all.

I wish

I don't know what I wish.

I like Professor Dolohov a lot. He's so interesting to talk to and he takes us seriously and he's made it clear he'll try to help me with Defense since I don't get to take proper classes in it now.

Anyway it's funny him saying this. Because he's right, of course.

Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good: Private message to Pansy

[alt_pansy]

Just not quite how he intends.

But yes. I like him too. Very much.

[alt_sirius]

Too bad that in your case, they're entirely the wrong sorts of beliefs.

You've always been highly intelligent so I can't understand how you could think you're backing the right Seeker. Except that then I remember you're the sort who revels in being granted licence to lay about with curses and murder and torture. You can lie and say it's all in defence of ideals; well, first off, any society that upholds those kinds of ideals is unfit for civilised wizards; and second, don't try to fool anyone: There are those who know even without such 'lofty' goals you'd do just the same. It's really just because you enjoy it.

At least Reg never picked up that trait, from any of you.

I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good

[alt_neville]

I know I said I was angry about having to help with the garden. But I don't want you to think I was angry about helping to honour your father. I didn't know he would be one of the ones included.

I will do my best, designing it. Well, I won't have a choice, really. But...

Bugger

What sort of tree would you like planted for your father?

Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good

[alt_pansy]

I'm angry too. For different reasons.

I hate that the garden will be hers, and that she's using my father's death for her own purposes.

It'd be different if people who actually lost someone came up with the idea but coming from her it's showy and disingenuous and wrong. And that awful, horrible woman who killed him will be a part of the garden too and Regulus doesn't even have a GRAVE, he doesn't have any place I can go to visit him, so the only time he'll be remembered will be this awful place that SHE made and it's just



My father thought that what he was doing was the right thing. It was important enough to him that he risked his life. And one of the people he fought and died for was me.

And I can disagree with what he fought for and still love and miss him and understand why he did it and respect his sacrifice but I don't expect you to have to like this. Or think it's the right thing to do. Or understand.

I mean. He fought against your parents.

It's complicated.

Private Message to Neville

[alt_pansy]

I'll have to think about the tree. I'll let you know.

And.

Regulus Black will be in the garden too. Which is also complicated.

But he needs

I might

Maybe we could talk about his part too.

Order Only

[alt_sirius]

Hermione, tell her I'm sorry I barged in to her journal. It's him I'm going after, not her.

And I hope she doesn't get in trouble for it.

Re: Order Only

[alt_hermione]

I shall, but she's not going to be happy, no matter what.

Re: Order Only

[alt_hermione]

She says she wishes you'd leave Professor Dolohov alone and only go after Madam Umbridge.

Re: Order Only

[alt_sirius]

Dolores Umbridge is an easy target. I'm not going to stop going after her, believe me.

But Dolohov, now, he's achieving his mission. Just as Voldemort knew he would do. I'm sorry if it makes Miss Parkinson uncomfortable but we can't afford any of them to mistake him for a friend. If that makes me a little unpopular with your mates, Hermione, so be it.

Re: Order Only

[alt_hermione]

Well, I hope you're happy being unpopular, then.

She did get punished. And now loads of people are cross, but at you, not at Professor Dolohov or Madam Umbridge.

Well, maybe Madam Umbridge, a little. But mostly you.

I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

[alt_hermione]

Pansy,

Sirius asked me to apologise for him because he's picking a row with Professor Dolohov but it happens to be in your journal. And he hopes no one will blame you.

I suppose you could always say that he's been obsessed with you for a long time because of Reg and it's not your fault at all. Everyone can see you didn't encourage him or anything. If you wanted to tell him off, he'd not mind, I know it. He's told other people to yell at him when he's used their journals like that. It's a smokescreen, so people will see that the person isn't his supporter or anything.

(And if you just wanted to tell him off, no matter if it's to keep off trouble or not, that's all right, too.)

Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

[alt_pansy]

Right.

Lovely.

I'm not sure what he's trying to do, but if he's trying to win points with people at Hogwarts, that's not how to do it.

I'm not the only one who is glad Professor Dolohov is teaching again, and he's doing it in a way that is fair. And he's one of the few people I think who'd stand up to Her. And he's been ill. Attacking him like that isn't going to accomplish much.

He'd do a lot better for himself if he kept poking at Umbridge.

Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

[alt_pansy]

And of course he brings up Regulus.

Whatever. Just... ugh.

Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

[alt_hermione]

Well, he knew Regulus a lot longer than you did, after all.

I think he has the right to be upset, too. For his own reasons.

And I've told him what you said, about only going after Madam Umbridge. But I think that's why he's also trying to remind people that Professor Dolohov might be nice to you, and he might be an ally against her, but just because you like him and don't like her, that's not the same as thinking that you can trust him. Or that I could do, for example.

Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good: Private message to Hermione and Harry

[alt_pansy]

Yes. He did. I'm just... surrounded by Regulus right now. And it's not a pleasant place to be. What he said added to the pile. That's all I meant.

I'm not an idiot. If we did end up in a fight, I know who I'd be up against, and Professor Dolohov would be one of them.

As would Lucius.

And I've come to terms with that.

Look. He might have the best intentions, and he may even be right, but he isn't here, dealing with all this, and we are. I know that Dolohov shouldn't be trusted with certain things, and other people should be reminded of it too, but this timing isn't going to work in his favour for other people who are reading. If he wants them to argue with him and not listen to what he's saying, job well done.

I'm not feeling very agreeable right now.

It's not because of you.

Thank you for telling me what he said. I don't think he cares overly much what I've got to say about it, and you aren't an owl. So you needn't bother passing any of this back his way.