alt_pansy | Private Message to Draco

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It'll be fun having to get along with Patil, since we're together for the CCF team. She'll throw her weight around, no doubt, and get her pants all twisted if we don't fall in line, so I'm of half a mind to just do whatever she says to keep everything from falling to pieces. I can just see the expression on Blaise's face already when she starts barking orders.

I've been thinking about what you said yesterday, about how you wouldn't mind being against Harry this time round.

It's been rather nice, just you and me, don't get me wrong. But I know that one of the reasons why I've had you to myself so often lately is because of Harry. And I just wanted to let you know that if you did want to talk about what's been going on between you two, that we could.

Or we could come up with something to do to take your mind off things.

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From:

alt_draco

Funny, that - I was just thinking about Weasley pulling faces at all of my instructions. Or else he and Finnigan each trying to ruin each others robes. At least Daphs will be there. And Bones, too, she's not bad.

Harry - well, we've not had a row or anything. Not quite. I guess we've not really been in the mood to spend time with each other. It's too tense, and there's nothing fun in it. I've already told you how he doesn't listen to me, and he still doesn't, but he thinks that he does. Which probably doesn't make sense...

It might be better to say that he's finally taking some of my advice, but it's all just a little late in coming. He wants to tow the line, or at least seem to tow the line, but it's only because it affects him personally now.

And then there's some things from ages ago that I'm still cross about. Like his need to save that stupid Hippogriff, even though it ended up with both Granger and I being punished. Imagine what would have been done to us if they knew what really went on that night. I'd probably be dead or something. Well, maybe not me, but Granger for sure.

From:

alt_pansy

I almost did die. At least it seemed for a bit that I might. What with all the people fighting and the Dementors and the werewolves and everything. Did Granger tell you she found me up a tree?

And I have a feeling I'd be in worse trouble than you.

From:

alt_pansy

And yes, it does make sense. I can see how it'd seem selfish of him to only want to do what's right now that he's the one who has to do it. So even though he's doing what you're asking him to, it's not for the reasons you'd like to think.

Does he know how you feel about it all?

From:

alt_draco

She didn't tell me that, no. It was a bad night for a walk, though - I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I've told him how I feel but that doesn't mean that he knows how I feel. Sometimes when I'm prattling on at him and warning him to not do this or to not do that... it's almost like I can feel him not really listening. Probably because I've been doing it since we were about six. Ever since the first time we got into serious trouble at Buckingham.

The last time we really talked, I wanted the three of us to discuss what was going to happen after the second task, and I wanted Harry to think - really think - about what would happen if he wasn't able to go through with it. He said to me that he and Granger had already discussed it.

And he'd also been discussing it with Raz, and that one guy - um, Sinbad.

But he didn't discuss it with me. I know he wasn't trying to leave me out, but I just can't believe he didn't consider that I would probably be there, which could mean anything. It could mean that I'll be expected to use Imperius on her again, or even Cruciate her myself. Or maybe he'll have to Cruciate me, too. Or maybe none of those things would happen. Even so, I wanted to be part of the discussion.

So yeah, we've not been saying much to each other ever since that.

From:

alt_pansy

I think that's the thing with Harry, though. From what I know of him, and from what you've told me. He just doesn't think about other people.

I mean, it seems like he's starting to, at least, a bit, but if he's spent such a long time not having to really face any consequences and having you and Granger around to be punished instead of him, well, I think it'd make anyone a touch inconsiderate.

And not as likely to listen.

Sinbad, hmm? That explains his latest screed. I was wondering about it.

From:

alt_pansy

And it wasn't all bad.

Dangerous? Definitely.

But not an entire waste of time. As it were.

From:

alt_draco

He does think of other people - sort of. What I really wish is that he would think of himself more, of what he could do and accomplish, just because he's Harry Marvolo.

He wanted to free that Hippogriff because he felt bad that he wasn't able to do anything to save Hannah Abbott. But he COULD have saved Hannah Abbott, if he'd thought about it the right way. He could have offered to rescue that kitten for her. What could Carrow have done, seeing the Lord Protector's son taking a kitten? Nothing, that's what. He's Harry Bloody Marvolo - he takes and does what he wants!

That's how I'd be, anyway, if I were him.

I even think that's why Hydra offered to go along with Abbott, because she thought her being there would have helped, if they'd been caught. Well, obviously it didn't help, but I still think that was part of why she did it. That and her frankly unnatural love of animals.

I guess he just doesn't think about what he could accomplish by being Harry Marvolo because he's really, really not a Slytherin. Bloody nightshade, it must be awful to be so deficient. Can you imagine?

Getting stuck up a tree while Dementors were on the rampage wasn't a waste of time? Afraid you'll have to explain that one to me a bit more...

From:

alt_pansy

I wasn't stuck up a tree the whole time, you know.

I'll tell you about it. But I'd rather not tell here. Tonight?

And he really isn't, is he? I mean, I think he thinks he doesn't want to be treated differently, but on the other hand, he takes advantage when it suits. And when opportunities like that come up when he could really do something, it doesn't even occur to him.

From:

alt_draco

Sure. So long as we don't have to talk the whole time.

He's never going to NOT be treated differently. I mean, neither am I, and I accept it. I think as long as you're aware of the fact that people might be nicer to you, or even wary of you, because of your last name - well, at least you can control how you respond to it, right?

From:

alt_pansy

Well, I did mention taking your mind off things, didn't I?

And maybe that's something he'll be more likely to listen to? I'm sure it's something you would be able to speak to more than Sinbad ever could. And it might make him be a little more likely to be considerate of other people in the bargain, if he starts to think of how he can use his influence to help other people.