Private Message to Lucius Malfoy

[alt_pansy]

Lucius;

I got your owl today, and the locket is absolutely perfect. I'm wearing it right now, and I just love it. I'd been feeling rather down lately about you getting hurt and Mum being Mum everything else, and this just made me feel ever so happy.

I'm so glad you're feeling better.

Your LB

Comments

[alt_lucius]

Already arrived? Good.

I do wish that you had not taken the situation as cause for such alarm but I understand that I gave not a few people rathera fright. Luckily I have been under excellent care - and I am made of stronger stuff than Hooper evidently thought.

What else has been troubling you? Draco's last mentioned something about you behaving less than your customary best.

[alt_pansy]

It's nothing all that important, considering.

I mean, people are still sorting through what happened with the bomb and all, and I don't blame them for it. It was awful. Sally-Anne still has nightmares about it. And I know Draco was

But. Anyways. Rosa is pregnant.

The announcement should be in the paper today. I haven't read it yet to see.

She only just let me know a few days ago, even though she found out weeks before.

I know we haven't been on the best of terms, but it just feels like a giant slap in the face. And a reminder that I am no longer part of her family. Because she has a brand new one. So I've been rather angry and disappointed about the whole thing, when it's something I'm supposed to be happy over, and now that everybody will know, I've got to put on a happy face, which I am not looking forward to.

I'm not looking forward to Christmas hols either. I've always felt like a visitor at Gloss House, and this will make it a sure thing.

It seems so petty, writing it all down. I've just been feeling blue lately, and this made me more blue, is all.

But the locket helped. Because it reminded me that I have people that do care about me.

[alt_lucius]

Now wait just a moment, Pansy. It's one thing your calling me 'Lucius' without any sort of qualifier, as we have an understanding. Your mother is another matter. When did you decide it would be acceptable to call her by her name? Is this a trend we may expect henceforth? How long shall it be before the Headmistress is 'Minerva' or the Minister for Magic is 'Cornelius?'

If we are discussing what is petty, my dear, then it must be said your form of address bespeaks your withdrawal as much as any change on her part. Can you expect her to overflow with warmth if you treat her with so much disrespect?

As for her announcement, yes, we read it in the papers this morning. It's true she and Campbell seem to be losing little time but I fail to see why an impending sibling should signify a desire on her part to separate you further from the centre of her family. Have you evidence of such a change in her affections? Has Prospero ever treated you as less than a full-blooded member of his family?

I shall not presume to know what you perceive or what she may truly feel, only to note that a strain between mother and daughter is not uncommon at your age. In a few years, you may find yourself in want of her if you pull yourself away now.

Nonetheless, I am glad you like the locket. It is indeed good to be reminded now and again that one is cherished.

[alt_pansy]

It's possible I read a little much into the fact that she chose to wait til I was at Hogwarts to tell me.

And I suppose it's unfair to judge her for the way she went about the whole vault exchange. She was getting married, so she had a lot on her mind.

She's had a new household to organize and new duties as Prospero's wife, which means that she hasn't had as much time for me as she had in the past.

I can break it down and rationalize it piece by piece, but it's hard not to look at all of it as a whole and wonder when I ought to start taking it personally.

Prospero has been kind, but uninvolved. I'm not a Campbell. He's not my father. Which is what we'd both prefer, I think. So that's no loss.

Even though I know it's selfish of me, part of me feels as if it shouldn't be entirely my responsibility. That if my mother wants to continue to be my mother in role as well as title, she ought to extend herself at least a little.

But it could very well be all in my head.

You're right, though. I ought to be more respectful. At the very least, I oughtn't act in the very same way that I'm judging her for.

[alt_lucius]

That is better. It is always wisest not to let one's emotions cloud one's judgement.

As for your mother's obligations, I cannot say whether she is more demonstrative or less compared to when you and she lived alone. I believe, however, if you consider her behaviour during the worst of her episodes, on balance, we all prefer her healthy, happy and in control over her actions. I should also counsel you that you may wish to decide for yourself what it is you truly want from your mother, rather than waste time guessing what it is she wants from you, in order to determine how best to obtain it.

[alt_pansy]

Sometimes I wish it didn't have to be so difficult.

But yes, I see your point.